Saturday, October 22, 2016

Turning 25

I am turning 25 today. Alhamdulillah. All praise to Allah for all the beautiful blessings in life especially for the health, good food, good shelter to live, loving family and friends and precious chance for me to live my life a year more. Hopefully I can always improve my life each and everyday towards a better way. Amin. 

As usual... Birthday picture of the birthday girl

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Missing Doraemon

Hi everyone.

It's 3.50 AM in the morning and I just finished my powerpoint presentation for today's class. Hopefully it's running well.

It's Sunday today and to be honest I do not like having class in Sunday bcoz it makes me have to skip 2 activities I always look forward to every Sunday morning; jogging/working out and watching Doraemon.

Been missing my Doraemon in the past few weeks, hopefully next Sunday I will be able to meet my Doraemon.

Have a nice Sunday everyone!

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Just A Sorrow of A Night

Hi all
Hope you're doing well, but unfortunately I feel quiet sad now.
11.29 PM now and still couldn't sleep, something very unusual for an early riser like me.

You know, as a woman, a single woman to be more precise, life gets hard as you reach the phase of adulthood. And today I just experienced one of the worst things that promotes my sleep disturbance tonight. Hopefully it'll last just for tonight, okay.

Well, I have normally never felt any kind of jealousy, envy or a chronic level of galau when it comes to people asking me (mostly on a wedding or family event) about: "Ayye sweety, so...  when is your turn?" , "Oo Siti, we cannot wait to see yours next" , "Is there any candidate yet? I know someone that might be matching to you" , bla bla, etc.

Sometime I think I might be a heartless woman who has never been offended by all those rhetorical questions or those kind of jokes. I don't know, after experiencing a major fracture hepatic last year, maybe yeah.. I become a heartless living creature.

Well, so.. some guys come and go, just like that. Every relative introduced me to a nice guy, exchanged our numbers, then we had a little texting, and then BUM! All gone with the wind. And the cycle runs the exact that way with some guys. Ended up just like that. Well, I--honestly consciously and sincerely--AM totally fine with all that. Really. No galau-galau or anything. I swear. My parents were... okay, mom was a bit exciting with some but she's just turned out okay too. No probs. While my dad was really cool about it. He has never interfered me when it comes to that kind of thingy.

But today.. I feel extremely mentally died. Here is the short version of the story:

One of my relatives tried to "match-making" me with a guy. He comes from a not-so-far relative of the matchmaker. The mobile number exchanged, that guy started SMS me few days ago, then we talked in mobile for a good 1,5 hours. He sound nice. Okay. He has already seen my pix sent by a relative, while I have never seen him nor his picture. When asked, he said that his android mobile was broken that he couldn't send any pict yet. Okay. No probs.

There hasn't been any conversation nor a single SMS between us for a few days after that phone-call up to this day. Okay. Well, I can say that I was busy to attend my first classes in college on the usual weekend schedule. Little did I thought about that guy, he might be busy too. FYI, he runs a shop by himself, a.k.a an entrepreneur. Okay. Having never seen a single pict of him just made me feel all flat.

So, far before that guy sent me the first SMS, the matchmaker already warned me to say this and that, not to say this and that, to be warm and friendly, in conclusion: be a nice girl. Okay.

After the first day of SMS-ing, the matchmaker again warned me to be more warmer, do not late to reply the SMS. Okay.

On the evening after the first 1,5 hour mobile conversation, the matchmaker sound soo extremely excited. Okay. That's a good thing.

During the few hiatus days of the absence of SMS and mobile call, the matchmaker kept asking me, how's it going on? What? He didn't SMS you? No call? So you send a SMS first, lah. Just pretend to text, "Assalamualaikum abang, how are you today? How's the shop?" and all possible types of cheesy text.

I remained still for a few days, not sending anything at all. I don't know, I might be shy but I just don't feel comfortable to do that. Additionally, I didn't know how he looks so what to expect? And the most terrible part is, the matchmaker has also never seen that guy too! Duh! So what is the point of all this?

Well, okay, it is rumored, based on the info the matchmaker got from the guy's parents, that he is a nice guy, has already owned his own shop, just bought a car, basically in 10 words: a settled young entrepreneur who is seeking for a wife. Okay.

This morning the matchmaker asked me again, how's it? I said, still nothing going on. In the investigating voice the matchmaker asked me, what was the last topic you both talked about? I replied, just normal kind of topic, family, activities and all that. It sound okay.

This afternoon the matchmaker asked me again for the second time of the day, the exact same question. Well, I think I am quiet patient by nature but this time I started feel irritated. I tried to reply the same thing with a nice tone, showing my respect to the matchmaker the way I respect my parents. So after talking this and that, the matchmaker then started to sound discredited me.

"There are only 1/3 male population in this earth now, thus we need to select a good one too. So please lah, you start SMS him. What is the big deal? No need to shy about sending 1 hi/hello SMS. The man side will also be happy if you're becoming a warm girl too. If you want something you need to give your effort to get it too. Do something about it. I know the place where that guy lives. You can ask, assalamualaikum, tok.. tok.. tok... like knocking door, asking about food there. Make some jokes about this and that. But don't ask sensitive questions like, how much shops do you own? Do not do that! Ask more about religious thingy, bla, bla"

I calmly tried to reply, "My respectful matchmaker, let it goes naturally. It is all about the feeling. Well, I have never seen any of his pix neither have you. So I didn't want to start any of that flirting thingy coz I don't know how he looks. Look doesn't really matter for me but doesn't mean that's not important too. Meanwhile I felt a bit shy too"

"Well if you kept your shy attitude then it's up to you. You know that it's not easy to find a nice man to be a husband nowadays? You have studied in UI for that long, then why can't you get a nice one in the pool of intelligent, excellent men that time? Then comes A, B, C, D, the list goes on.. then all just ended up like that? Look at these your girl cousins, you want to get married at the emergency age like them (27-29)? Look at that aunty, 40+ already but she's so selfish, no wonder she is still single until now! So after few hiatus days, make your first move now. Go SMS him!"

My breath choked. I tried to respond calmly till the conversation ended. I grabbed my mobile texting SMS to that guy while... few drops of tears coming down my face. My hands trembled. SMS sent. I started sobbing, crying like a crazy. My whole body shaked. I felt like my heart just got hit so hard that it fallen down to the floor. I felt like all things I've done and I've been progressing have gone to waste coz the only thing matters now is to get married. Married. Married. Married. Everything else is useless. My education, my degree, is all useless. I cried with chocked breath for a good 1 hour I guess. My eyes got swollen, my face turned red. I felt so ugly inside out.

After a few hours, all tears shed, I felt little light.
My parents came and I told them everything. I felt much lighter knowing that my parents are all supportive of my on-going education, to finish what I have started first before committing to anything else.

For the matchmaker, thank you so much for the kind-hearted attention to introduce me to a guy. I really appreciate that, deep from my heart.

But as for what's been happening from the past few days: all the interrogation kind of questions and the dictate of scripted words to say to that guy which really contradicts to my nature and has made me feel beyond bad about my self, I think it's time to dismiss this matchmaking. The decision is final on my behalf.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Independence Day

So today I find this short clip from my all-time favorite movie, Veer-Zaara, on Twitter and it reminds me with one of my initial reasons to visit India in 2013... 3 years ago... how time flies... fiuh..

Happy Independence Day India!
Jai Hind!

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Maternal Instinct

So my class today was very insightful.
The lecturer is already retired but is still requested to teach in the classroom bcoz he is one of a few experts in nutritional field. Today we discussed about the importance of good nutrition intake on the first 1000 days of life of a human, starting from the embryo until a 2 year old baby.

For preggie mommy, the connection you build with your baby since the day you know that you're pregnant is something very crucial that will be going on until the breastfeeding time. Wherever you go, you always think about breastfeeding your child, so that your milk gland will automatically be filled. This thing builds an attachment between you and your baby until the end of time. And health-wise, the babies that got exclusive breastfeeding are proven to be healthier and have good immunity.

It's been a long while since the last time I think about "having family" stuffs and today, I just did. And I realized, it is an incredibly beautiful thing.

I remember one day, around last year, I boarded commuter line in Jakarta. Sitting beside me was a young lady carrying her little baby, peacefully sleeping on her leap. Suddenly, I felt like I was hit by an electric shock right on the left side of my chest. And you know what... that little cutie baby was touching my boobs! She woke up, stretching her little fingers trying to reach my boobies. Maybe she felt thirsty and thinking that mine would get her thirst fulfilled. Her mom smiled graciously, taking her baby's hands off my boobies. "Ooops, that's aunty. That's aunty. Here's mommys".

pict taken from google image

OMG I felt really awkward and had no idea what to feel; embarrassed, happy, angry, joy, or maybe @*#&^^.

I think that sudden, simple touch of the baby on that right spot has activated some parts of my brain. And I felt like, I wanna have a cute baby and breastfeed too. Yep, I guess that's what is called as the maternal instinct. Today's class just gave me a reminder of that beautiful thing.

Friday, July 22, 2016

July's Update

Assalamualaikum all
It's been quiet a long while since my last post. Please excuse the hectic of Ramadan, Eid and all college stuffs in the past 1 month. Since it's still in the month of Syawal (day 15 already), let me express my Eid greetings, Happy Eid Mubarak 1427 H to all my readers. May Allah's blessings always be with us. Ameen.

So what's going on in life?

This Ramadan was quiet sad for me coz I lost one of my uncle due to some  illness, he is the husband of my father's late older sister. Just 2 days after that uncle's gone, my paternal grandfather, the father of my father, passed away at the age of 100 years old due to some illness as well. Alfatihah for them. May Allah place them in the best place on His side. Aamen.

Okay. So right on the very last day of Ramadan... guess what...? I accidentally got the chance to click a picture with Mr. President! That evening I was visiting market with my parents until we saw the president's official car parked in front of a department store. As we all know, Mr.President decided to celebrate first day of Eid in my town, didn't really know if it was political agenda or whatever. So, seeing that Indonesia 1 car with lots of security officers, we decided to take pict with that car. After asking permission from officers, we took some pict and of course I didn't want to miss a selfie lah.

I am a little tacky and I know it!

Long story short, we then realized that Mr. President is in tha house yo! Along with the crowds, we greeted Mr. President and my mom was quiet lucky to be called by Mr. President himself to take some pict. When I was going to take pict of my mom, one security officer let me to follow my mom to strike a pose with Mr. President! He took my mobile and clicked our pict. Yeayness!

Not really a fan of JKW to be very honest, nevertheless still I respect him as the leader of this nation
Btw my face was highly outshined by the sunlight! *hufft*

So 1 week after Eid, my cousin got married. As I consider her as my closest cousin, for the first time I feel a bit melancholy to witness her wedding ceremony. Deep inside my heart, I don't know, I started to dream of my own too (you know what I mean).

And oh yaa, just 2 days after Eid, I got a confirmation email for the abstract that I submitted to attend a conference in Japan got accepted. Alhamdulillah... So happy! Doraemon I am comiing!!

Confirmation: I am not a Dr yet


The euphoria of going to Japan didn't last long. I was shocked that I wouldn't be able to get the funding sponsorship from my college. Well, after some long-ass consideration I decided to dismiss the chance this time. A bit sad, but I believe one day I will visit Japan for more cool purpose for sure.

Yeap. I guess that's pretty much it.
Hope you're having a nice day.

Thank you for reading.